(I'll freely admit I'm simply posting this so I had a reason to use "Yellow Submarine" as the blog title. I'm giggling like a schoolgirl over it!)
Me: Give me a footlong Philly Cheesesteak sub on honey oat and wheat bread.
Sandwich Artist: Do you want cheese on that?
What I should have said:
What part of "cheesesteak" do you not understand? Of course I want cheese on my cheesesteak, otherwise it's a steak sandwich, you twit! Or are you taking the job title "Sandwich 'Artist'" a little too literally and implementing some creative expression with your role? I seriously doubt that's the case from the look of you. Look, I know you've got a shitty job and your brain is probably on autopilot, but you need to inject a little common sense into your mundane tasks so that your mind doesn't get permanently stuck in 1st gear. Now make it pepperjack, and make it snappy!
What I actually said: