The Honeymoon Song

(NOTE: Yes, that's a Beatle's song title, from "Live at the BBC")

Always a groom, never a groomsman. Until this last weekend.

I'd met Celtic Kleric and Tymber thru an online community many years ago. Eventually they found each other and found love. Like RedFaery and I, they married once for insurance purposes, and were now going to have the big ceremony and celebration with their family and friends.

Since between them there was a ton of family and friends, choosing who was to be in their wedding party was going to be a chore, so they left it up to chance and drew names out of a hat. RedFaery was one of the bridesmaids. When CK mentioned one of the groomsmen may not be able to afford the outfit, I casually mentioned to him that if he needed someone else, to just holler. A couple of weeks later, he did just that!

I mentioned the "outfit", right? What I didn't mention was that it was a Renaissance-style wedding, and the theme was based off one of their favorite movies, the Disney version of "The Three Musketeers". Now you know what I mean by outfit, right? Full musketeer garb - hat with plume, tabbard, breaches, and rapier.

CK & Tymber let me know that they were supplying the rapier (groomsmen's gifts!), so I just needed to come up with the rest. They showed me a couple of online sites to start my search. Red and I had been trying to come up with a good Renaissance outfit for me anyway, so this made life easier for us.

Speaking of Red, she was looking for a new outfit too since she'd dropped so much weight. We went to a Kentucky Renn faire a few months ago, and she found a nice medium blue skirt and a muffin hat to match. But the crowning jewel of her ensemble was a bodice with intricate patterns stitched into it. It gave her the look of upper-middle/working class, and showed off her new figure well.

Look at me, sounding all "What Not to Wear" up in here! Moving on...

We dressed at home and drove 90 minutes to Frankfort, to the Buffalo Trace Distillery where the outdoor ceremony and indoor reception were to be. No one else was dressed yet, and everyone was still decorating the hall. Red and I pitched in wherever we could - laying tablecloth, setting up chairs, carrying in food. We then ran thru the ceremony briefly, climbing a hill up a flagstone set of steps, and standing on a bridge high above were the audience stood. Pretty simple, and not nearly as hot outside as I thought it would be.

The actual ceremony went well. No major screw ups, other than one of the ring bearers being in a grumpy, noisy mood. Red and I, standing across from each other, got our own little signs of love to one another that no one else notices, so we kept ourselves entertained.

Afterward were the photos while the crowd went in to eat. There should be a good pic of CK and I mock sword fighting somewhere in the mix. He mentioned wanting a "honor guard" of musketeers holding swords aloft and making a tunnel, military style. Easier said than done, since the happy couple were both at least 6-foot tall!

I took it upon myself to make sure everyone saw the entrance. When we were lined up and ready, I used my best theater voice and shouted PRESENT ARMS!. Definitely got the crowd's attention, and they they turned away from the buffet long enough to applaud the couple. The maid of honor, Jenn, wasn't quite expecting it though - she turned to Red and said, "I think I just peed myself!"

As we're enjoying the food, we hear rumblings of toasts by the maid of honor and best man. However, the best man is terrified of public speaking, so I offer to step in there as well. I'd already thought about what I'd say if I had the chance, so I took it. It went something like this:

"I'm not entirely sure when CK & Tymber started dating. In fact, I don't even think THEY know when they started dating. When I'd ask them if they were, they reply with something like, "Yes...no...I don't know...it's complicated." How is this complicated? Either you are or you aren't I say - well, to my wife I'd say that anyway, not to their faces! Anyway, they seemed to eventually figure it out, which is great. So everyone please raise their glasses. To CK and Tymber, may it never be complicated again!"

Eventually things started dying down, and we started to help clean up. Once we did all we could to help, we gave them hugs, wished them a great time on their honeymoon, and headed out. It was a fun day, and I truly hope Red and I helped make it a memorable one for them.