Mean Mr. Mustard

I experienced another first today. This evening was my first-time ever being one of those assholes on a Bluetooth at a restaurant. Yay me!

About three weeks ago, I was glancing at woot.com, and they had their "Two-for-Tuesday" deal where you could get two sets of Bluetooth wireless headsets for the price of one, about $25 with shipping. I had the dough and made the buy. Like everything from there, it took about 10 days to get here (they use the cheapest, but hey, at those prices...). Due to RedFaery's bad hearing, it turns out that a Bluetooth isn't for her. But I've been loving mine!

I cut out for dinner and decided to give RedFaery a call to see how she's doing (sinus infection for her, BTW). As I pulled up to Fazoli's, I considered staying in the car. But I said to myself, "No way. I'm hungry, and it won't bother the people around me too much. I know it's rude, but I'll hardly be the first one to ever do it. Besides, it's just Fazoli's."

Appearently the wind kicks up a lot of noise in the mouthpiece, because RedFaery noticed it right away.

I got in a small line of about five people. As I spoke, one by one they all turned to see why I was talking to them, only to see this cockroach-looking thing on my head with the blue blinky light. Like the asshole that I was trying to be, I never acknowledged their presence, wrapped up in my own little world.

Sadly, none of them seemed even mildly annoyed. Even when I placed my order and kept talking to the air, the guy behind the cash register never even noticed. Asshole objective: epic fail!

However, there was one bit of amusement while I ate meal meal in silence (the call had ended). A white guy that looked like he was 50 was sporting short dreadlocks. He was talking with the breadstick guy, who is normally the most annoying person there because he won't let you eat in peace. However, even Breadstick Guy looked like a coyote chewing off his own leg to get away from Old Dreadlocks Guy. ODLG was regaling him with his adventures from hanging out at the gas station next door, trying to get some breadsticks to go.

"What a doofus!" I thought. "Who in their right mind would want to be like THAT guy?"

Then ODLG turned his head as he got up to leave. In his ear - you guessed it - a Bluetooth headset.

I slowly pulled mine out of my ear and put it in my pocket. Next time I'll sit in the car...